Why Anger Management Doesn’t Work!

Ever wondered about How to Control Anger?

Have you ever got SO angry you felt yourself turn into the incredible hulk?

I have LOL

I used to be a right fire-cracker.

Any little thing would trigger me, I was like an active volcano about to erupt any second or anytime anyone scratched the surface of any of my wounds.

Although I had no idea that that was what was happening.

You may not know this, but Anger is a what is known as a “secondary emotion”, which means anger is never the real issue. This is why in my opinion “anger management” doesn’t seem to work.

If you are trying to “manage” anger then you will NEVER get to the root cause of the anger and forever be in a battle, like incidentally the incredible hulk, fighting to keep it at bay.

You use anger to protect your wound – and I mean the kind of anger that takes over your persona.

So coming from your wounded ego, it’s not a bad emotion, it is justifiable because it thinks it’s protecting you and trying to keep you safe.

What you need to understand is that triggers in this case anger are always about you and never the other person, this is the real healing journey, to go within rather than point fingers, blame etc. It’s about taking responsibility for your emotional reactions in this case your anger. This doesn’t mean what they did or are doing is ok.

It is important to understand the anger is showing you what is still unhealed within you, the anger is pointing at exactly what you need to work on to heal & grow spiritually.

Whenever you get angry, ask yourself; what need or expectation do I have that is not being met in this situation?

Anger is basically a reaction to an unmet need, false belief or unloving expectation you have of the another person, society or the world. Often anger is also triggered when you feel you can’t control someone and you want them to “BE” a certain way.

You deal with anger in any situation the same way, by focusing within rather than on the outside situation or circumstance. You have to take responsibility for the anger because at the end of the day the anger is within you. You have to own it, feel it in your body without judging it or blaming the other person. Be present with your anger and feel how much you want the unmet need or emotional addiction met.

Once you fully feel and own this anger the deeper grief of the emotional wound or emotional addiction will come up, when this happens you must then, of course, grieve.

From my personal experience, I have found over and over again that once I have grieved the wound at the causal level I am never triggered again since there is nothing for me to defend.

Plus the situation never seems to happen again because that emotional wound is no longer in me, so the vibration of that emotion is not inside of me anymore.

Your unhealed emotional wounds are your law of attraction so once you fully heal those emotional wounds you will not attract situations like that anymore and if you do as I mentioned above you are not triggered. You will naturally respond with love and compassion. When you are in this state is it also highly likely that you will be heard because you are speaking from your heart and real self rather than your wounded self – this has also been my experience.

I can go on but I will leave it there.

Check out this video where I share about my road rage of people tailgating me and how I processed this. It’s been 2 years I think now and it hasn’t happened since:

You can learn a lot from anger if you choose to embrace it that is.

Anger tells you where you are out of harmony with love and literally pinpoints the emotional wounds you are resisting or refusing to accept.

Over the years of healing my deepest emotional wounds, one of the things I noticed is that what used to trigger me simply doesn’t anymore. I have witnessed this also happen with a lot of my clients who suffered in particular from narcissistic abuse.

Once the wound is healed, there is nothing for you to protect or defend and hence there is no need for you to get triggered. You don’t take things personally anymore, especially those things that used to emotionally trigger you.

The emotional wound incidentally is the hook, it is what gets you emotionally triggered.

So if you want to stop getting triggered, stop reacting out of rage, or if you have a short fuse…

You need healing.

And I would love to guide you, click here to know more.

If you need support on your healing journey and want more personalized guidance check out my Intuitive Coaching & Emotional Healing Sessions and let’s get you started on getting your life back.

All techniques and information I share are considered coaching, self-help or complementary therapies. I am not a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist or medical doctor, I have a degree in Health Sciences in Complementary Therapies. Everything I write and talk about comes mainly from my own experience in healing myself and the tools, techniques, and resources I learned throughout my own inner journey.

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