How to Access & Heal Emotional Wounds
So you can break negative patterns, heal permanently and
start manifesting more from the heart.
A lot of people have been asking me how to heal emotionally and spiritually, and more specifically “how” do you access those core emotional wounds and HEAL them?
The very simple answer is you have to sincerely want to and have a deep desire from your heart. It has only taken me close to 20 years now to find this simple truth and “get it”.
I searched for how to heal emotionally and spiritually by breaking patterns in every healing modality I learned, in books, praying (from my mind), Reiki, Theta Healing, Access Bars, NLP, Hypnotherapy, rituals, magic, mysticism, the occult, using crystals, clearing with sage, Feng Shui and all sorts!
Funnily enough, Napolean Hill talks about having a burning desire throughout his entire book “Think and Grow Rich” as the key to success. Little did I know I would be applying this same concept, years later in a different context for my healing work, although he doesn’t describe it the same way as I do.
By a sincere desire I mean your desire has to come from your Soul and not from your wounded ego. It has to be a pure desire without any secret agendas or ego attachment to the outcome.
I actually did a video a while back about how to pray from your heart and this is now how I personally use it in all the emotional processing work I do on myself to “summon” and release the emotional wounds keeping me stuck in patterns as well as when I am manifesting and setting intentions forward in motion.
If you haven’t watched it, check it out below:
The purer and more sincere the desire from your heart, meaning it’s selfless and genuinely from a place of love, the quicker the suppressed emotional wound will come up.
When beginning the process of how to heal emotionally and spiritually, I do also ask God directly with these heart prayers, as well as call in my guardian angel and spirit guides for support.
After you have prayed from your heart you must also take inspired action after and be willing to face what shows up for you!
I remember I was working with a client once on one of her shadow traits as she was constantly getting triggered by one of her husband’s behaviour and one of the signs we know we have a shadow trait is when we get triggered by the same trait in another. We had only started scratching the surface really and the very next session she told me “shadow healing isn’t working”, I asked her what she meant by this, her reply was “my husband isn’t changing!” This is a classic example of a wounded ego-based agenda, her intention was not pure or sincere, it was actually a selfish desire to control another person. She was doing this work to change someone else’s behaviour and gain some sort of power over her husband – that’s insane and actually not very loving at all.
You must understand that you cannot change people, you can only change yourself.
The healing path or spiritual journey is about you! It’s about you growing in love through forgiving, healing your traumas and becoming a more loving person and not about trying to control people’s behaviour or manipulate them to meet your selfish needs.
Everyone has free will and everyone is on their own journey so please check in with your intention when it comes to doing your inner work because all you can do really is to focus on your own healing and spiritual journey.
These heart prayers will only work POWERFULLY (and instantly) if your desire is pure, sincere, from a place of love.
What I see a lot is that most people’s desire actually stems from their wounded ego. I can see that easily now because I was once there too and had no idea what all this even meant as I was completely unaware of the quality of my desires and intentions in terms of healing, manifesting or breaking patterns or that even had an impact on the actual results. Well let me tell you, it does!
When learning how to heal emotionally and spiritually, the purity of your intention matters!
When you ask or pray from the wounded ego, you often pray to change the outcome rather than healing at the causal level so that you can break the pattern and change your law of attraction (law of attraction being how you feel, all your unprocessed emotional wounds – I will have to write a blog on this!). Understanding and feeling the cause is always an emotional wound still within you that you are unwilling to feel and process.
Praying from your wounded ego consciousness to simply change what you don’t want is like throwing a little emotional tantrum about not getting what you want. You are basically, emotionally/spiritually or energetically saying that you are not willing to take responsibility for your inner world, you don’t want to SEE the cause or the reasons why you are even attracting certain situations or people. You basically just want to skip the process of emotionally understanding why you have certain blocks or are stuck in negative patterns emotionally and by doing this you will never actually grow or evolve consciously, heal or break the patterns you mentally say you want to break.
To stand in your power and be a true co-creator of your life, you must be humble enough to want to know yourself. To see yourself and your current emotional and spiritual state.
A big part of this journey of learning how to heal emotionally and spiritually is about being a fully responsible being, accountable for your actions as well as intentions. Humility is key.
Most people don’t want to know themselves. In fact, most people are terrified of knowing their true self. I believe this is mainly because they have bought into a lot of false negative beliefs about themselves and they fear they might find out that they’re true.
Thus, your intention is everything! I cannot emphasize the importance of your intention enough. It’s how you truly heal and transform, break patterns and manifest your heart’s desire – if you sincerely and purely want to.
No one taught me about the importance of my intention or explained to me that where these intentions came from was crucial (ie from your heart and soul or from the wounded ego). No one taught me about “heart prayers” either, this is something I stumbled upon at a very low point in my life. I could see I was carrying all these emotional wounds from a deep betrayal of people I thought were my friends and felt unable to forgive and let it go.
I literally just sat down, called in my guardian angel, my spirit guides and I asked God from deep within my heart to help me forgive and release these emotional wounds because at that moment I didn’t feel capable of forgiving or accepting what had happened but I knew it was time and overdue to heal and let it go.
I really meant it, with my whole heart, I remember saying and feeling this sincere desire ‘God I will do whatever it takes’. All I wanted was not to feel those wounds anymore as it was consuming me, weighing me down and eating me up inside. After that, I went about my day and I completely forgot I had prayed so intensely and sincerely in that way. The very next day I started grieving deeply and had absolutely no idea why! I grieved for about 3 weeks until I asked my guides why I was crying so much as I had forgotten the intention I set. I heard “you asked for this”, in that moment a light bulb went off in my head and I remembered my heart prayer. I did ask for this… even though “this” was not what I was expecting – to cry, more so deeply grieve for three weeks!
You might hesitate to pray from your heart because you don’t want to end up crying for three weeks. But I assure you that when you have a deep sincere desire in your heart, you have what it takes to sustain the transformation it’ll bring into your life!
Since then I have been practicing and refining the purity of my heart desires, praying from my heart, and I’ve found that when you set pure, sincere desires from your heart, your prayers are answered immediately by God. The flip side of the coin is that you won’t simply “get what you want” if you have emotional wounds preventing you from actually receiving your heart’s desire. What will happen is the emotional wound blocking you from receiving your heart’s desire will come up after you set a sincere desire from your heart, so you have to also be willing to feel the emotional wounds that come up for you after you set your heart desires. It is only when you release these emotional wounds blocking you that you will be able to actually receive what you truly desire.
What you need to understand about these heart prayers is that they are “emotional”, it is not an intellectual desire, you do not have to think about what you want or do anything with your mind as a matter of fact.
The desire or prayer set in motion is emotional, it’s a feeling you cultivate and put out from your heart. Know that this desire is not forced either, any force is coming from the wounded ego’s underlying agendas, lack of faith, negative beliefs or self-reliance.
Emotions are the language of the Soul, it’s also God’s language.
Know that if you truly desire to heal, transform negative patterns or manifest anything in your life, God answers all your heart prayers as long as they are pure and sincere!
Lastly, I will just say, be patient with yourself! This is a new muscle you are going to start learning to develop. Just like you have to go to the gym regularly to develop your physical muscles, you will have to practice developing your heart desire muscle over time – more so the quality of sincerity, humility and purity. Sometimes you will “get it” and other times you will feel that your desire is not sincere and that’s also ok. Being aware of this is what matters and this will give you feedback on your Soul condition (resistance, negative beliefs, true desires, emotional wounds, unwillingness etc) and where you are on your Soul journey. This will show you exactly what to work on regarding your healing and inner work.
In essence by developing your heart desire muscle you are working towards changing your Soul’s Will. This is not to be confused with the old “will-power” because this comes from the wounded ego and it already implies force, struggle and resistance. Your Soul’s Will is a combination of your emotions, thoughts, actions, words, behavior, attitude, beliefs etc. It is what you are currently experiencing now as your reality – what you desire, you create. Hence, in order to change your Soul’s Will you will have to work with your emotions, thoughts, actions, behavior, attitude, beliefs etc. which is the process I use throughout one of my programs Manifest Your Heart’s Desire. The fastest way to bring up what needs to change is by using your heart’s desire muscle and then working with what shows up for you in your law of attraction.
The true power of your Soul comes from your Soul’s Desire, a sincere pure emotion emanating from your heart to create, heal, manifest or experience which is your heart prayer.
If you’re just getting started learning how to heal emotionally and spiritually, I am aware this work is not easy to do alone so if you would like some personalized guidance in doing some of this deep inner work I offer Intuitive Coaching & Emotional Healing Sessions and it would be my honour to do this with you.
All techniques and information I share are considered coaching, self-help or complementary therapies. I am not a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist or medical doctor, I have a degree in Health Sciences in Complementary Therapies. Everything I write and talk about comes mainly from my own experience in healing myself and the tools, techniques, and resources I learned throughout my own inner journey.
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Intellectualization has plagued me my entire life. I have been put on various antidepressants, been through 4 different therapists, 2 psychologists, and not one of them has had a solution. In my childhood and young adult life there have been events that many would call traumatic, but to me, everyday is the same and every thing that exists has no emotional attachment. I truly wish to be able to love. A month ago i become profoundly religious from what seems like nowhere, but my prayers often seem half hearted. I suppose my question is, how do i break my ego down to have more faith and to feel? Also, if it is has been so long, my entire life to be exact, how would I know what hurt me in order to begin the emotional wound healing process?
Hi Lawson, thank you for sharing.
To be honest I feel this is a problem worldwide with the majority of people. This pattern has been passed down through generations, we are not taught by our parents or in school how to process emotions.
Sadly antidepressants will further disconnect you from your emotions which, in my humble opinion, will only make it harder for you to process emotions because they make you numb to them and this will make the problem (depression etc) worse.
Most of my clients come to me after spending 10 years with psychologists or counsellors which I always find interesting. I’m sure there are good ones out there but what I have seen is that they focus on talk therapy and analyzing the issue, which is great to get an intellectual understanding of the issue but this does not heal at the causal level. You can talk about your issues till the cows come home but that will not help you break free from these negative patterns because the only way to do this I found is by processing your emotions at the causal level.
There is also a big misconception around emotions in the psychology world in general, again this is just based on my own experience and realizations after processing a lot of my own core wounds.
I’m SO happy that you wish to love! I will share since you are here, have read this blog and commented it sounds like you are developing your desire to open your heart and truly heal and this is a great sign!
This desire starts intellectually (where you are now) and now you must desire this emotionally from your heart, which is what I talk about here and what you mentioned – your prayers being half-hearted. Developing your heart desire muscle will take you time so please don’t give up, it’s like a muscle that you will strengthen over time.
What you need to develop also is humility and sincerity. Most people when they ask/pray from the heart they don’t have a sincere desire, they do it from their mind/ego or from this place of just wanting the results but not wanting to go through the emotional process, if this makes sense? When you have your first experience with a sincere heart prayer you will understand the “quality” of sincerity. When you do this emotions will come up immediately – I can guarantee that! You have to desire this from your Soul, with no agenda or neediness basically and be willing to feel any emotion that comes up. In order to fully live with an open heart and love you will have to process your traumas (emotional wounds). Even if you don’t know what hurt, that’s ok, all you need to start with a sincere desire to know the truth. Pray from your heart to KNOW the truth about your childhood and what hurt you and DESIRE to feel this in your heart. Even if it’s been so long, this is the beauty of this work, it all depends on your desire and how pure it is really. Healing doesn’t take time, it takes courage. Most people are just not willing to feel intense emotions and at the causal level very often, at least for me, it has been visceral and extremely intense. But know that once you process the core once you will never have to do it again. Having said that we do have many wounds. You don’t have to ‘break the ego’ necessarily but you will need to face your facade/false self, emotional additions, defence mechanisms, false beliefs and delusions – and for this, I do recommend working with someone as it’s hard to see yourself when you’ve put all this there not to see the truth and feel those wounds. Since you mentioned you got very religious all of a sudden can I recommend a book.. have you read The Shack by Willian Paul Young? If not please do.. this book touched my soul on such a deep level and it was what started me off on my own journey in developing my relationship with God. I hope this helps! Melany
Thank you Melany! This was extremely helpful, and though challenging to take this look at myself, extremely rewarding to the soul. I needed this, maybe it wasn’t fully enjoyable but it was needed, and I am all the stronger and better for it. I now know I will be ok, that I don’t have to always worry like I did, and most importantly that it’s not all about me, I don’t know it all, and that is ok. I have faith now, in a new sense that one day all will truly be well.
You’re so welcome Tyler. The truth at first is not always pleasant to hear as we have a lot of false beliefs and errors within us which conflicts with the truth making it hard to digest. Learning to use and reclaim your heart’s desire muscle is how you empower your soul, emotional desire is your soul’s will. I’m happy this resonated and that it helped you on some level. Thanks for stopping by and sharing! Have an awesome day x