A lot of people have been asking me “how” do you heal emotional wounds as well as how do you access those core emotional wounds.
The very simple answer is you have to sincerely want to and have a deep desire from your heart. It has only taken me close to 20 years now to find this simple truth and “get it”.
I searched for how to heal and break patterns in every healing modality I learned, in books, praying (from my mind), rituals, magic, mysticism, the occult, using crystals, clearing with sage, Feng Shui and all sorts!
Funnily enough, Napolean Hill talks about having a burning desire throughout his entire book “Think and Grow Rich” as the key to success. Little did I know I would be applying this same concept, years later in a different context for my healing work, although he doesn’t describe it the same way as I do.
By a sincere desire I mean your desire has to come from your Soul and not from your wounded ego. It has to be a pure desire without any secret agendas or ego attachment to the outcome.
I actually did a video a while back about how to pray from your heart and this is now how I personally use it in all the emotional processing work I do on myself to “summon” and release the emotional wounds keeping me stuck in patterns as well as when I am manifesting and setting intentions forward in motion.
If you haven’t watched it, check it out below:
The purer and more sincere the desire from your heart, meaning it’s selfless and genuinely from a place of love, the quicker the manifestation will happen.
I do also ask God directly with these heart prayers, as well as call in my guardian angel and spirit guides for support.
After you have prayed from your heart you must also take inspired action after and be willing to face what shows up for you!
I remember I was working with a client once on one of her Shadow traits as she was constantly getting triggered by one of her husband’s behaviour and one of the signs we know we have a Shadow trait is when we get triggered by the same trait in another. We had only started scratching the surface really and the very next session she told me “Shadow healing isn’t working”, I asked her what she meant by this, her reply was “My husband isn’t changing!” This is a classic example of an ego agenda, her intention was not pure or sincere, it was actually a selfish desire to control another. She was doing this work to change someone else’s behaviour and gain some sort of power over her husband – that’s insane and actually not very loving at all.
You must understand that you cannot change people, you can only change yourself.
The healing path or spiritual journey is about you! It’s about you growing in love through forgiving, healing your traumas and becoming a more loving person and not about trying to control people’s behaviour or manipulate them to meet your selfish needs.
Everyone has free will and everyone is on their own journey so please check in with your intention when it comes to doing your inner work because all you can do really is to focus on your own healing and spiritual journey.
These heart prayers will only work POWERFULLY if your desire is pure, sincere, from a place of love.
What I see a lot is that most people’s desire actually stems from their wounded ego. I can see that easily now because I was once there too and had no idea what all this even meant as I was completely unaware of the quality of my desires and intentions in terms of healing, manifesting or breaking patterns or that even had an impact on the actual results. Well let me tell you, it does!
The purity of your intention matters!
When you ask or pray from the wounded ego, you often pray to change the outcome rather than healing at the causal level so that you can break the pattern and change your law of attraction (law of attraction being how you feel, all your unprocessed emotional wounds – I will have to write a blog on this!). Understanding and feeling the cause is always an emotional wound still within you that you are unwilling to feel and process.
Praying from your wounded ego consciousness to simply change what you don’t want is like throwing a little emotional tantrum about not getting what you want. You are basically, emotionally/spiritually or energetically saying that you are not willing to take responsibility for your inner world, you don’t want to SEE the cause or the reasons why you are even attracting certain situations or people. You basically just want to skip the process of understanding why you have certain blocks or are stuck in negative patterns emotionally and by doing this you will never actually grow or evolve consciously, heal or break the patterns you mentally say you want to break.
To stand in your power and be a true co-creator of your life, you must be humble enough to want to know yourself. To see yourself and your current emotional and spiritual state.
A big part of this journey of healing and spiritual growth is about being a fully responsible being, accountable for your actions as well as intentions. Humility is key.
Most people don’t want to know themselves. In fact, most people are terrified of knowing their true self. I believe this is mainly because they have bought into a lot of false beliefs and they fear they might find out that they’re true but I will leave this for another post.
Thus, your intention is everything! I cannot emphasize the importance of your intention enough. It’s how you truly heal and transform, break patterns and manifest your heart’s desire – if you sincerely and purely want to.
No one taught me about the importance of my intention or explained to me that where these intentions came from was crucial (ie from your heart and soul or from the wounded ego). No one taught me about “heart prayers” either, this is something I stumbled upon at a very low point in my life. I could see I was carrying all these emotional wounds from a deep betrayal of people I thought were my friends and felt unable to forgive and let it go.
I literally just sat down, called in my guardian angel, my spirit guides and I asked God from deep within my heart to help me release these emotional wounds because at that moment I didn’t feel capable of forgiving or accepting what had happened but I knew it was time and overdue to heal and let it go.
I really meant it, with my whole heart, I remember saying and feeling this sincere desire ‘God I will do whatever it takes’. All I wanted was not to feel those wounds anymore as it was consuming me, weighing me down and eating me up inside. After that, I went about my day and I completely forgot I had prayed so intensely and sincerely in that way. The very next day I started grieving deeply and had absolutely no idea why! I grieved for about 3 weeks until I asked my guides why I was crying so much as I had forgotten the intention I set. I heard “you asked for this”, in that moment a light bulb went off in my head and I remembered my heart prayer. I did ask for this… even though “this” was not what I was expecting – to cry, more so deeply grieve for three weeks!
You might hesitate to pray from your heart because you don’t want to end up crying for three weeks. But I assure you that when you have a deep sincere desire in your heart, you have what it takes to sustain the transformation it’ll bring into your life!
Since then I have been practising and refining the purity of my heart desires, praying from my heart, and I’ve found that when you set pure, sincere desires from your heart, your prayers are answered immediately by God. The flip side of the coin is that you won’t simply “get what you want” if you have emotional wounds preventing you from actually receiving your heart’s desire. What will happen is the emotional wound blocking you from receiving your heart’s desire will come up after you set a sincere desire from your heart, so you have to also be willing to feel the emotional wounds that come up for you after you set your heart desires. It is only when you release these emotional wounds blocking you that you will be able to actually receive what you truly desire.
What you need to understand about these heart prayers is that they are “emotional”, it is not an intellectual desire, you do not have to think about what you want or do anything with your mind as a matter of fact. The desire or prayer set in motion is emotional, it’s a feeling you cultivate and put out from your heart. Know that this desire is not forced either, any force is coming from the wounded ego’s lack of faith, negative beliefs or self-reliance.
Emotions are the language of the Soul, it’s also God’s language.
Know that if you truly desire to heal, transform negative patterns or manifest anything in your life, God answers all your heart prayers as long as they are pure and sincere!
If you’re just getting started on your healing journey, I am aware this work is not easy to do alone so if you would like some personalized guidance in doing some of this deep inner work I offer coaching sessions and it would be my honour to do this with you.
All techniques and information I share are considered coaching, self-help or complementary therapies. I am not a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist or medical doctor, I have a degree in Health Sciences in Complementary Therapies. Everything I write and talk about comes mainly from my own experience in healing myself and the tools, techniques and resources I learned throughout my own inner journey.