The Subtle Traumas You Don't Know About That Are Sabotaging Your Life
February 5th, 2016
A few days ago I posted on social media about trauma and mentioned it can also be something you have witnessed.
I noticed a number of people were not aware of what trauma actually is so I thought I'd share with you a little more on the topic and the impact it can have on your life.
People tend to associate trauma with something physical or a "big" event such as sexual abuse, acts of violence, war, natural disasters or terrorist attacks.
Trauma is anything that causes a shock to your system.
Trauma can be physical, mental / psychological, emotional and even spiritual.
A trauma that is not processed in the moments soon after the event will remain frozen in time and space.
The emotional shock (negative emotions) and mental programmings (perceptions of self & world in the moment) that arise during the event will be stored within different parts of the body - yes this is physical too!
What generally happens is people will cut off all awareness to the trauma as a self protection mechanism to avoid feeling the emotional pain and psychological distress in order to 'survive', as often there is just too much to process & it becomes overwhelming whilst experiencing the trauma.
So even moments after the trauma it will seem that we are "numb" or feel nothing about the traumatic event.
Here are some traumas that may not be so obvious:
- Watching your father struggle financially as a child
- Seeing your mother being beaten by your father
- Having your emotions constantly invalidated throughout childhood
- Being verbally abused such as name calling & insulting
- Not being seen or acknowledged especially by your parents
- Constantly being criticised & "put down" by your parents growing up
- Being humiliated by teachers or friends as a child
- Witnessing a loved one suffer through an illness or difficult situation
- Psychic attacks & spirit possessions
- Losing a loved one or a pet
There are many other 'not so obvious' traumas that can have a huge impact on your life.
From all the cases I have treated (actually 100% of them), trauma is always the root cause of people's inability to find love, constant money issues, health problems or negative life patterns.
As an adult we tend to look back on some events in our life as insignificant. I want you to understand that as an adult, you have grown and evolved and you now have more inner resources. Hence by merely looking back at those traumatic events you can logically and rationally see that you survived.
As a child you have no inner resources and additionally you are in a state of shock. You are just learning about life and not sure how to process the information you are perceiving about the world and your environment.
So it is NOT about what you feel or think NOW about those event, but really about what you felt and made the event mean about you & the world then.
How can these types of trauma affect you and your life:
- Low self confidence & self worth
- Self-sabotaging tendencies & behaviours
- Emotionally sensitive (cry for everything or easily)
- Aggression & rage (explode at the slightest thing)
- Lack of social skills or few friends
- Take everything personally
- Chaotic & abusive relationships
- Lack of energetic or physical boundaries
- Severe anxiety & panic attacks
- Depression & suicidal tendencies
- PTSD & psychological distress
and lots more!
This is why healing (especially traumas) is not a "logical" or a thinking process, it is a "feeling" process.
A lot of times I will see the trauma in my client's energy field and when I bring this up with the client some will quickly dismiss it, claiming they are "over it" or because they can't "feel" anything towards it now it is not affecting them.
Our minds will naturally want to avoid feeling negative or uncomfortable emotions and will want to do it quickly through rationalisation and justifications of why it doesn't affect us or why that is not the real issue.
From my personal experience and humble opinion, I feel this is because that capsulatedtrauma holds the memories of being unsafe. It holds fears, shame, anguish, distress. It's stored with confused, feelings of betrayal, abandonment, resentment and regrets. It has sensations of being unloved, not accepted, ignored and being all alone.
And no one wants to feel all that, let alone remember it & feel it again!
It's much easier to just block it off.
I've seen people do this so often, and to be fair I did this too for many years being in complete denial about how my childhood traumas were affecting my life.
The fact is if you do not process these traumas they will continue to affect all areas of your life gradually becoming worse. You will feel out of control and unable to get a grip of yourself, your health or your life.
It was only when I faced these traumas and I mean truly processed all the emotions etc from my heart that I started to change or should I say become more myself.
I started to feel more at peace with myself, became less "emotional" and less reactive. I felt lighter and more in control of myself and my life. My health issues one by one started to resolve themselves and in general I felt more joy about life!
I have witnessed my client's life transform one by one by just processing their childhood traumas.
So if you have dismissed some of your emotional wounds and wondering why you are unable to shift some negative life patterns, now you know.
The beginning is always the hardest, but when you get to the other side you will have wished you started sooner and wonder why you were so scared in the first place.
Emotions are the language of the Soul. It is how we understand and process our experiences. It is only by processing our emotions can we grow and evolve to the beings we truly want to be.
You cannot "bypass" your emotions, the only way out is going through them!
I encourage you to do your inner work! Take time to process your emotions from past traumas and emotional wounds.
Be brave, face your "stuff" and I promise you it will be the best thing you could ever do for yourself!
Hi, I'm Melany...
and welcome to my little corner of the internet!
I really hope you enjoy looking round.